The ancient spirit of a sexually insatiable succubus endowed with a carnivorous vaginal eel and a worrying penchant for emasculation possesses would-be anthropologist Tania Wilson (Barbara Anne Constable) as she investigates the Indonesian legend of “The South Sea Queen”. It turns out the deep sea demonic harpy wasn’t a mere myth after all and intends upon using the unfortunate Tania as a vessel of vengeance against the great-granddaughter of the one man who had the audacity to satisfy her supernatural carnal desires. A bloodbath of biblical proportions ensues as our wrathful wench goes on the rampage with an assortment of death dealing hardware from Uzis to M16s.
As the title suggests "Lady Terminator" is an unashamed rip-off of James Cameron’s seminal 1984 sci-fi actioner and is inferior in every way possible. In fact it’s so unremittingly dire with hilarious/atrocious dialogue, woeful performances and bargain basement SFX that its elevated from cinematic purgatory to the exalted realm of “so bloody terrible it’s brilliant”!
The guardian hero of the piece, stereotypically chisel-jawed Yankee cop Max Mcneil (Christopher J. Hart) has all the charisma of a lobotomised tortoise while his charge, aspiring songstress Erica (the great granddaughter of the super-stud who roused the wrath of the “South Sea Queen”) is beyond irritating, scoring a whopping 11 out of ten 10 on the "Jar Jar" scale. The audience is thus left rooting for an emotionless killing machine. Nice.
Much of the films unintended comedic value is derived not only from the poor dubbing but Constables attempt to emulate Arnie’s monosyllabic menace as the Terminator. Whether it be Tania's throwing of empty assault rifles to the ground with stroppy displeasure or angrily placing hands upon hips like some scolding schoolmarm as she enters a nightclub in search of her target (does this remind you of another film by any chance?), giggles are to be had aplenty.
Top this off with lashings of cartoonish hyper-violence (you could have a Freudian field-day with the amount of castratory fetishism on display) and you have a truly unique sci-fi exploitation curio.
I found myself cheering for the film in the same way you'd cheer for the lame runt puppy of a litter trying to crawl across the kitchen floor in a vain attempt to reach its mothers teat. By god the film tries, fails miserably, and keeps on going. When approached for what it is - an exercise in puerile gore and titillation - you cant help but smile as the bedevilled Tania cuts a swathe through Jakarta. If you like your bare breasts and bloodshed smothered with an artery clogging dollop of cheese, then Lady Terminator is for you.
